sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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