I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
