I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize