I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
