dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
