we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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