I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
