Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
