Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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