she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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