We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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