whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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