she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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