HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
