i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
MIDGETS
????
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
