Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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