That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
