you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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