I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
