Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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