you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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