take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
