hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
