I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
