When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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