It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's always time for handjobs
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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