My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
