Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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