soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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