i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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