do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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