please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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