So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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