She is in my trunk
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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