Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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