the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
50% drunk capacity currently
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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