I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
barbara walters just said penis...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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