Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
