Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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