Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
