i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
