Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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