I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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