she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
