He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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