Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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