Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
