i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
All the doctor said was why
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
