And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
