we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
