so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
