I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
