So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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