If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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