As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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