i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
