It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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