D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
