dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
