I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
