Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize