North Korea, Best Korea!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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