After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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