I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
