You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
